Are you a mother in the thick of the newborn phase and struggling with the baby blues?
You just had your baby, you’re home and settling in with your little one, on the road to recovery. Yet, somehow you are feeling almost empty inside. Not physically empty from no longer being pregnant. But rather emotionally empty. We always hear about how new mothers experience this joy, warmth and connection with their baby. but you are sitting feeling tired, overwhelmed, but mostly just empty and like you don’t want to be here. This is what is known as Baby Blues.
This is a post about how to cope with baby blues.
What are Baby Blues?
Let’s take a minute to first talk about what Baby Blues are. They are often confused with postpartum depression, yet the two are different and should be approached differently. Baby Blues are caused but the huge change in hormone levels (estrogen and progesterone) after giving birth. This huge change in hormones causes a feeling of “depression” or feeling blue. Although circumstances can make it worse, it is not connected to what is happening outside of your hormonal changes. Because it is cause by hormones, we can’t make it go away. While this may sound even more depressing, the good news is, it doesn’t last more than about 3 weeks. (Although for some women may occur sometime in the first 6 weeks)
These symptoms differ from PPD which usually comes up later in postpartum and can be a result of circumstances combined with hormonal changes. It’s also much more severe and may require medical intervention.
What do Baby Blues feel like?
You might be trying to figure out if you have Baby Blues or maybe you’re just tired and recovering from having a baby. Between my two babies, I had baby blues with one and not the other. I was able to experience the difference between just being tired and recovering postpartum and experiencing that drastic hormonal influence. With my first baby, I had days of being extra tired, not feeling super motivated to get up and get going, etc. However, I was still excited about life about doing things with a baby in tow, family coming to visit, and all that.
With my second, I had days of feeling extra tired, not motivated and all that. However, in the first couple weeks, I would get this feeling of emptiness around the second half of the day. And I don’t mean the emptiness of not being pregnant anymore! I had help from my mom, my husband made an extra effort to be home and help with the kids. And with all the help and support, sitting on the couch surrounded by my little family, watching my daughter play, seeing my newborn baby girl, and I just felt empty.
It was shocking to me to feel that way and confusing. Everything went well with my delivery and I recovered very well. I had a great support system that helped with the housework and kids. Yet I still felt empty and had no joy. It wasn’t severe to the point of losing the will to live. But I simply wanted to go to sleep and not wake up for a few months. And it wasn’t just
How Do I Cope?
The first step to coping with baby blues is understanding what they are and there isn’t something wrong with you. They are simply from hormones and will soon be over!
The second thing is to simply find a small relief like taking a nap or doing something that brings you some distraction. This could be watching a show, reading a book, going on a gentle walk, visiting with a friend, crocheting, or whatever else might bring you distraction in a positive way.
The third step is to simply be patient. It can be easy to want to fix things, or “shake off” the feeling. However, getting frustrated about your hormones will never solve anything! Simply allow them to work themselves out.
The final step is a big one. Share your feelings with people close to you or in your support system. It is important that you voice how you’re feeling to not only help them understand you, but also to get your feelings outside of just your head. You can overthink or overanalyze them if you’re the only one sitting with your feelings. Getting them outside your self helps you to view them in a different way. It also helps it to not seem like such a big burden to carry when it is shared by more people.
For me, sharing how I was feeling with my mom and my husband helped them to know how to better support me. For example, I would pump milk and leave the baby with one of them in the afternoon so I could sleep. Or they would keep the baby for a bit so I could simply be on my own for an hour or so and read a book. However that relaxation/decompression looks for you, it is important to try to do that when you are dealing with the baby blues.
I hope these tips have been a help to you as you are dealing with baby blues. Remember, they will clear up soon!
This has been a post about how to cope with Baby Blues.